The Laughter Advantage

The "Best" Christmas Cracker Jokes

Anthony Ackroyd - Thursday, December 22, 2011

Hi Laughter Lovers!

A big thank you to all of you for your interest in and enthusiasm for the wondrous human phenomenon called laughter. I’m so excited and appreciative that this blog is now read in 45 countries around the world. The laughter revolution is truly underway!

In the spirit of the season I want to share my all time favourite Christmas cracker jokes with you. Hey, why should I suffer alone! For years I’ve been collecting those tiny bits of paper containing jokes as dodgy as the crepe hats and plastic animals that jump out when our Chrissy crackers pop. 

To fulfill its mission I believe a Christmas cracker joke must make us both moan at its awfulness and be just a little bit more merry because of its innocent silliness.

Here are 12 of my favs. One for each day of Christmas…

1. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?  - Because he had low "elf" esteem!

2. What goes up and never comes down? - Your age.

3. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? - Frostbite.

4. What carol is heard in the desert? - O camel ye faithful!

5. On which side do chickens have the most feathers? - The outside.

6. What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photographs? - Some day my prints will come!

7. What is the best Christmas present in the world? - A broken drum, you just can't beat it.

8. Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance? - They have two left feet.

9. How do you stop a skunk smelling? - Hold its nose.

10. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? - A mince spy! 

11. What's tall and stands in the middle of Paris? - The trifle tower.

12. Knock knock! - Who's there? - Hanna - Hanna who? - Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

If you have a favourite Christmas cracker joke make sure you leave it as a comment below.

Much love and peace one and all,

Laughingly yours, Anthony

 © Anthony Ackroyd 2011


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